Monday, November 30, 2009

Accepting My Inner Sissy

Continued from "Born a Sissy?"

That first experience in heels pretty much sealed my fate. I quickly went from periodic dress-up play to being able to think of little else. Whenever Sami was away, which was pretty often, as her job required a fair amount of travel, I always found myself dressed in her frilly things. On the days when she traveled, I would be in a constant state of arousal throughout the day, looking forward to when I would be home from work and feeling feminine again.

I honestly did try to refuse my feminine desires, but I was helpless to do so. I felt like such a sneak, like a total pervert, each time I dipped into Sami's panty drawer, but even while those terrible feelings twisted my stomach, the excitement, the sheer thrill and anticipation of feeling like a sexy, sensual female always won out.

It wasn't long before I started to dread the times when I couldn't experience my feminine self. I soon began to wear panties under my slacks to work most ever day. As I'm sure all sissies understand, the excitement of my trousers gently brushing over my satin covered cock drove me crazy. I was very fortunate that the tightly stretched fabric controlled the exposure of my constant erection, and thankful that nobody ever noticed the wet spot that often formed on my slacks as my precum soaked through the thin satin and lace.

Of course, I didn't remain content to merely wear panties for long. My desire to feel feminine was far too strong for that. I soon added other items to my secret under-apparel. Stockings were first. I began with the self-supporting thigh high variety. They felt just wonderful under my slacks and increased the sensual pleasure a hundred fold. I no longer had only the occasional brush of my cotton pants against my satin panties but could now constantly enjoy the gentle caress of my stocking covered legs inside my male outer garment. The days when I was able to resist a trip to the company restroom to relieve myself were few and far between, and the scary naughtiness of sitting in a stall, wearing stockings and panties, playing with my sissy cock while male workmates were just outside the partition, always brought me to a shuttering orgasm.


As time went on, my under "wear" expanded, and so did my wardrobe. I soon replaced the elastic top thigh highs with more traditional stockings, often seamed, and one of my many garter belts obtained online. I will forever be thankful for what online shopping has done for my life as a sissy gurl.

Where I had to face a male salesclerk, trembling as I handed him the cash for that first pair of heels, I could now purchase heels in my size with complete anonymity, and all I had to do was make sure that Sami didn't intercept the package.

My collection of feminine underthings, of panties, and stockings, of garters and bras, in white, black, red and delicious pink, just grew overnight. No longer did I have to sneak my frillies from Sami, and no longer did I have to worry about the little messes that I would unavoidably make. With several pairs of heels, a nice assortment of satin and lace undies and even a handful of tight fitting skirts and feminine tops, it was a rare occasion when I didn't spend at least part of my day feeling girly.

Depending on the weather and other circumstance, my "underwear" would always consist of at least a pair of panties, usually bikinis, and stockings with garter, unless I was wearing shorts. Though more often than not, I would add a cincher and/or bra, and at times even a skirt and blouse.

Now, as exciting as all of this was, it still doesn't compare to the mind blowing electricity I experienced when I finally resolved to shave my legs. Any sissy who has shaved will agree, there is nothing that compares to the feminine delight of feeling your silky smooth legs adorned in stockings and panties. To this day, I thoroughly enjoy each fresh shave and can't wait to pull my stockings up my soft feminine legs. The truly wonderful thing about clean shaven legs and a nicely trimmed public patch is not merely how totally feminine it looks and feels, but the fact that it does so 24x7.


Explaining my shaving to Sami wasn't easy, and in retrospect, she was probably suspicious all along, but there was really nothing I could do about it. Once I experienced the total femininity of smooth shaved legs, I knew I would never allow the unsightly hair to grow again.

Before long, I secretly started shaving, not only my legs, but my butt, and then my underarms and eventually my chest. My feminine appearance didn't stay a secret for long, at least not at home. I made all sorts of excuses for this new habit, all obviously complete bullshit, and for whatever reason, probably because she didn't really know how to handle it at the time, Sami put up with my behavior and went along with my lame excuses.

With the hair removed from my body, the true sissy gurl within me was unleashed. I soon became quite adept at applying makeup and did so at every opportunity. The scent of foundation on my face, the taste of freshly applied lipstick -- these are the thrilling sensations that only we sissies get to experience. I began trimming my nails in a more feminine fashion, painting them whenever I could and even learned to style my hair. I never missed a chance to turn myself into the sexy female beauty of my dreams.

I was still a facsimile of a man on the outside, but that was really where it ended. Underneath, I was quickly turning into a complete and total sissy. The sex life that I shared with Sami was obviously impacted for the worse as I became less and less interested in normal sex. She was an absolutely stunning female with a strong appetite for sex, but still, I found myself increasingly unable to perform as a male.


I regret the effect this had on my wife, and I really did try, but the inescapable truth is that normal sex wasn't even in the same league as the thrill of jacking off my little sissy clit while all dressed like a hot fucking slut!

Yes, I did regret the way things were at that point with Sami, but I see now that it was a necessary part of my journey, and one that I wouldn't change if I could.

Kisses

13 comments:

  1. I started to have performance issues too. Once I started locking myself into a chastity belt, I was able to maintain performance with my wife and actually increased enjoyment of dressing.

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  2. Hubby Darling,
    I hear what you're saying hun, but rest assured, my performance issues were only when trying to play the role of a man. As a sissy, the only issue I ever have is trying to keep from spurting my sissy cream without permission.

    Thanks for the comment sweetie.

    Kisses,
    crissi

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  3. I love that last picture of the sissy with the very thick and hard sissy-cock. I need so badly for my wife to see me being a sissy with another sissy. It's all that I can think about--I need to be in pink panties with my sissy cock sticking out and making a tent showing how excited I am while I touch another sissy. I dream of my wife making me do this in front of her friends. She makes me tell them that I've changed from being a heterosexual who got turned on by women's panties to full-fledged gay sissy who needs to be faggy in front of his wife. She then makes me do all of my sissy things in front of them, especially sticking my finger in my sissy-pussy and telling the women that I can only come when I have my own finger in my sissy hole.

    Whenever my wife and I fuck she makes me repeat over and over: I'm a naughty cocksucker, I'm a dick licker." She says that she knows it's really true because it's what makes my cock the hardest.

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  4. Anonymous, you're the most pathetic cunt of all -- the least you can do is show your identity. I hate anonymous comments . . .

    That said, you've got to reveal to your wife what a little cockwhore you are. You owe her that much. In my case I only wish I would have done it sooner. Believe me, you'll only become more and more of a cock-craved sissy, and you'll never be happy or fulfilled until you start getting the all the cum shooting cock you need.

    Finally, who the fuck are you kidding? You don't have a cock to get hard . . . you traded that for a useless, cream dripping sissy clit the day you first came in your panties!

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  5. I still try to hide my feminine desires but i can't possibly deny myself shaving now can we? I am somewhere in the middle of this post and growing stronger. Oh to be able to dress more often shave more of my body and be girly more often.

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  6. regina dear, I was once where you are, so I have a good idea of what you're going through. All I can say is that the desire never faded for me, even after numerous purges. My release came when I finally admitted to myself and select others that I love to feel feminine. Dressed as a sissy whore, serving pussy or cock, I can finally express fully my sexuality -- there is no more pretending -- I am a submissive sissy cocksucker, and I'm damn good at it!

    kisses

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  7. Only a man can make you feel like a real sissy girl. I love cock!

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  8. So true, Anony, so true, What's not to love about a nice, thick, hard, cum-filled cock? Mmm, the thought gets me wet.

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  9. I love wearing panties with stockings and suspenders under my male clothes
    I adore the feeling of the taut belt against my thighs

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    Replies
    1. You and me both, sweetie . . . and every other sissy who's ever tried it.

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